Measurement 228 but I had 2 sandwiches before.  Sorry I forgot.
3:29 PM 12/19/18

Post measurement 125 12/19/18 8:18 AM

Have you heard of the aardvark that had amnesia?  I told him, "You're an aardvark".  Then  he denied it saying, "I ant eater!"

Number 25: Piccard of Star Trek

25  12/18/18 11/34/AM            Blood 259

                After losing his job, the captain of the Enterprise got a job as a magician.  "Piccard," he would say, "any card."

A free joke.

17           A breeder crossed a sheep with a cow hoping to get beef and wool from the same animal but all he got was an animal that was always in a baaaaad mooooood.

Why did the elephant wish he had only one ear?  He didn't want to be two ear-elephant.  (Too irrelevant.)

Blood 252  12/13/18  2/27 AM   Don't ask why it is so high. 

A cross between a crow and a bat?  Acrobat.  Cross it with a tic?  Acrobatics.

Sugar level 111  12/11/18  8:47 AM
Why did the elephant wish he had only one ear?  He didn't want to be two ear elephant (too irrelevant.

:734 AM Count 243 12/05/18

  I made a new product.  It will do the same thing for cream that Coffee Mate did for coffee.  I'm calling it "CreamMate".  I'm getting the ingredients from the best crematoriums.

268 this morning   12/3/18 8:16 AM
"Uncle Cecil! Uncle Cecil! My frog just died.  Can you make him come back to life again?"
"Sorry, Johnny.  No one can do that."
"What kind of un-kill can you be if you can't un-kill my frog?"

Measure 217    Took my meds and injection  12/02/18 8:00 AM Joke: What county got rid of all of its gas-powered cars?   Madagascar (mad at gas car).